Cannot afford to lose you.

There seriously is something wrong with bus 33.
I wouldn’t wanna take that bus to go too far.
If nearby or with baby, then I might not be too afraid.

Bev and I encountered some unfortunate stuffs today. ):
First bus 33 got some ‘mad’ man.
As in, anything he do, he reacts very agitated.
Then he started to stare at us angrily, bang window.
Like WTF seriously!?

Then the uncle behind us also like crazy.
Keep smiling, like a little hyper uh.

We decided to alight and change bus.
The next bus worse!
We came face to face with a flasher.
Like please~!
I was already on the verge of crying on the previous bus and now, the flasher.
I cried like almost instantly.
Lucky there’s Bev by my side.
Else, I don’t know what to do,

The image is still on my mind.
Whenever I close my eyes, I’ll recall what happened.
And I feel really disgusted by the incident. ):

Mom say I should have kick his balls and scold him.
But I was too scared to even react uh.

Baby called and I told him about it.
He told me not to worry and nothing’s gonna happened.
Thanks baby for being so caring.
I can see the improvement in you.

Anyway, let bygones be bygones.

Woke up in the morning and baby called and we talked on the phone for about 2hours. Heh.
Then wanted to prepare to go to school, but suddenly got stomach ache.
It’s like as if my stomach’s burning.
Very ‘HOT’ inside my body. ):

So I was thinking of not going to school.
But, in the end, I still went.
Supposed to be there by 2pm.
But I reached at 2.45pm.
And guess what?!
3pm end already.
Tsk! Shouldn’t have go in the first place.
And maybe all those incident wouldn’t have happened at all. :/

Count myself unlucky today luh.

Went to Queensway with Bev after school.
She wanted to get the ring for Ali.
So nice of her eh. LOL.

Then went home and fall asleep.
Woke up at about 9.45pm. Slept for almost 3 hours.
Kinda shiok uh.
I’m still feeling a little tired.
Should be turning in early today.
There’s lecture tmr morning.

Just finished mahjong with baby.
He’s preparing for work now.

Oh, I forgot to mentioned that I’ve had a nightmare last night.
And I believed that my dream is actually trying to tell me something.

Only today, I realised that I cannot afford to lose baby.
The thought of losing him, is like almost losing everything.
I love him a lot a lot. <3

P.S: If I had to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.

 

Short nap.

Nothing much today.
So, short entry and CIAOS!

Woke up late for school again!
And so, I went to school for less than 15 minutes.
Wasted trip seriously. :/

Bev accompanied me home.
Watched Jennifer’s Body and she left to meet Ali.

It was pouring really heavily just now in the afternoon.
Fortunately we didn’t lepak and I get to nap a little.\

Baby slept from 12noon all the way to 9pm today.
He CLAIMED that he forced himself to wake up earlier just to accompany me.
HAHAHA! Touched~!

Anyway, just played a little of mahjong with baby.
He’s preparing for work right now.
And I think i should go study for CS test now.

Goodnight earthlings!

P.S: You’re my happy pill.

 

Work work work.

Whoa! Work was really boring till I actually took an hour break just to sleep eh.
My eyelids were too heavy.
Couldn’t manage to keep them open.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that I slept pretty late last night.
Maybe every night. LOL.
Or maybe it’s due to the fact that it’s The Central, Clarke Quay.
The store is located at some dark and isolated corner of the mall.
Who on earth will walk all the way to that corner?
Definitely not me. :/

I think the store’s fengshui really suck uh.
They should either consider shifting the store to some other unit or they could actually close down and open another outlet elsewhere. LOL.

As usual luh.
RVM lecture’s a waste of time seriously.
Everytime go uh, only 1 hour, and it’s done.
Next time I should just sleep until I song then wake up and prepare for work.
But I doubt there’s a next time luh.
Going to end semester exam already. LOL!

Okay. I did study for CS today.
But only the minutes for meeting, communication styles and business etiquette.
I think tmr after lepak come home then do some last minute revision again.
Should be able to pass uh, hopefully.

Anyway, tmr there’s NO TRADING!!
We are only supposed to pack up all the stocks.
Should be quite fast.
Should I go find baby or should we lepak? LOL.

I guess baby’s still sleeping eh.
He hasn’t reply my text message since 1pm till now.
It’s understandable though.
He’s probably too tired. :/

P.S: Take care of yourself baby! I love you.

 

R/s that’s on the rock. :/

Sometimes, when you love somebody, let him/her do the things they love.
‘Cause sometimes, when you’re doing things you love, you’ll tend to be engrossed in it.
Shouldn’t let things like that spark a quarrel between you the both of you.

Sometimes, when the person you love told you a lie, don’t flare up.
‘Cause sometimes, they do it for a reason, example, telling a white lie.
Shouldn’t let things like that ruin the trust between the both of you.

I’m saying this, not to rub into your wound or make things worse.
Just trying to make sense to you guys.
I know why you guys are angry.
But, think through it.
Don’t make things ugly for both sides alright?

I really don’t wish to see r/s of the both of you to turn sour because of a moment of folly by your partner.
Be happy alright girls?
I’ll always be here for you girls.
LOVE YOU GIRLS TTM!
—————————————————–

Ah, ah ah
You’re so good to me baby, baby

I wanna lock you up in my closet when no one’s around
I wanna put your hand in my pocket because you’re allowed
I wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound
I wanna stay this way forever I’ll say it loud

Now you’re in, and you can’t get out

[Chorus]
You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
It’s so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You’re so fabulous
You’re so good to me baby, baby
You’re so good to me baby, baby

I can make you feel all better, just take it in
And I can show you all the places you’ve never been
And I can make you say everything that you’ve never said
And I will let you do anything again and again

Now you’re in, and you can’t get out

[Chorus]

Kiss me gently
Always I know
Hold me, love me
Don’t ever go
Ooh, yeah yeah

[Chorus X2]

You’re so good
——————————————————

Went to baby’s place again today.
Watched Alvin and the chipmunks 2.
Then helped his mom with the cooking.
Haha. I’m such an angel.
See the halo above me?!

Baby told me that, I’m his first girlf who could go to his place without his mom nagging.
Happy sio!
First time my boyf’s mom NEVER dislike me in any ways.

I learned a dish from her today.
Hei Bee Hiam. Eh, dried chilli shrimps.
YUMYUM eh!

Everytime I go to baby’s place, confirm eat a lot. ):
Him: “Dinner full or not?”
Me: “EVERYTIME GO YOUR PLACE, DIET PLAN HAVE TO RESTART!”
Him: “Good what. Eat full full.”
Me: “WILL FAT ONE LEH!!! ):”
Him: “Haha. Don’t want let you diet. Want you to eat more!”
Me: “TSK! I don’t wanna be fat!”

Haha. Baby say, even if I grow fat, he will still want me.
I’m gonna hold you to your words uh!

Anyway, Saturday going out with baby, then meet the clique and the rest.
Baby say he’s gonna off his phone for the day just for me!
Heh. HAPPY EH!!!!!!
Can’t wait till Saturday!

Baby’s off to work now.
And I’m going for lecture tmr.
Such a good girl.
HOPEFULLY I CAN WAKE UP ON TIME!
Gonna drag myself out of bed!

Working at Central tmr.
1-9pm alone!!!! AGAIN!!!
Sian uh! Never mind.
I didn’t managed to study CS2 today.
I’m gonna study CS2 tmr!

Goodnight world.

P.S: You never fail to put a smile on my face every single day.

 

Lazy afternoon.

His blur face!! LOL.

Went to baby’s place this noon.
His mom cooked lunch for us.
Nice, thai food.

Then went downstairs to meet Desmond to get money from him.
And then to Fairprice to get some stuff for dinner.

Drank a little bit of chivas and slept away the whole afternoon.
Very tired!!

Woke up, dinner!
YUMMY SIA! (Y)

Whoa! I think today i ate a lot sia!!
Never mind.
I should stop eating tmr. :/

Anyway, tmr I’m gonna rot the whole day at home.
I need to find something to do uh.
Maybe I should study CS2 tmr.
Yes. I should.

Oh, and he say, if I’m gonna do tongue piercing, he’s gonna tattoo his body. :/
And he say he want me to do tongue piercing.
I’m still in a dilemma.

Baby’s working right now.
And it’s sad to see him like that.
Working so hard, pains my heart.

Anyway, some overdue photos.

Zhiyin & I.
P.S: I love him more each day.

 

It doesn’t matter.

Thursday till yesterday was spent with baby.
But I guess he’s forgotten all about yesterday.
Actually, I’m not very affected by it luh.
As long as I have him by my side, it’s more than enough to make me happy.
Because it’s really no big deal uh.

Oh! And we caught Legion at AMK hub last night.
Kinda got cua tio when the old lady starts to eat raw meat!
Overall, the show, okay okay nia. :/

After the movie, we head over to bugis to meet his ah gong and friends.
Then his ah gong cannot remember where he park his lorry! LOL!!!
So we went to Starbucks to sit down, drink and eat something while his ah gong try to recall where he park his lorry.

After drinking and eating, we just continue walking and walking again.
FINALLY REMEMBER WHERE HE PARK HIS LORRY!!!!!!!!! LOL.

He drove us to hougang ave 8 to eat supper.
And drove us home.

Quite fun.
Ah gong super funny!!!!!!!
Basically, everyone is funny! LOL.

—————————————

Working later!
Fucking sian!!!!!!!!!! :/

But never mind. I can practice how to answer questions that might be asked during the interview role play tmr.
Whoa! Kinda nervous leh!
But if I practice today, tmr shouldn’t be a problem to me!
Hope the teacher don’t play stunt and stun me uh!

Update again soon~!

P.S: It doesn’t matter, as long as I have you.

 

1 more day to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Ring super nice. But fucking expensive. :/

Ahhhhhh~!
I broke my own counting down sia.
Should like blog everyday eh.
But was really busy helping my mom last night.
Didn’t get a chance to use the internet.

And I’m so deprived of sleep right now.
But I still got project to rush.
Lucky I’m not working tmr.
At least after rehearsing our role play, I still can go home to complete it.

Didn’t managed to wake up on time to go for lecture.
So I woke up at around 11.30am and prepared for work.

Work today, as usual, bored as hell.
I got shocked like 6 times a day. FUCK!

First encounter was when I got too bored and took out a piece of paper to draw.
Then my back was facing the store front and I didn’t realised that there’s someone in the store until the person speak over the phone.
I literally jumped. :/

Second encounter, Kiki’s sister, Lala suddenly appear at Dusty and I was on the phone.
I hung up the phone immediately thinking that she was Kiki.
Then only after she told me that she’s not Kiki, I got more relieved.
They are like splitting image of each other sia.
Darn pretty and cute.

Third encounter, I called Jeslyn to talk.
Then she ask me to talk to the mannequin in the store.
So I say, they don’t even have a head.
Then she say, their head just beside me, staring at me.
I CUA SAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :/

Forth encounter, was talking halfway on the phone, the Giordano sales lady suddenly came over to the shop.
I got shocked because it’s like, I didn’t see that coming.
She ask me what time I close the shop and tell me that she’s afraid because she’s alone.
Then make me scared also. TSK! :/

Fifth encounter, was also halfway on the phone, the garbage uncle peek into the shop and ask if there’s any garbage. TSK!
SCARE ME AGAIN!!!
Unexpected!!! :/

Last encounter, FUCK BEVERLEY!
Make me scared by asking, “You alone in the shop, not scared uh?”
Then start to think a lot.
And there are MIRRORS almost every direction I turned to.
ASS!!!!!!!! TSK! :/

What’s with my day again sia?

——————————————

Anyway, Baby’s coming home tmr.
And he doesn’t want me to go to the airport to pick him up.
He say he doesn’t know which terminal and all.
Later very confusing.
So he say to meet on Thursday.
Then good also, I can do RVM.

I miss him so much eh.
Like waited for 3 weeks, now finally can get to see him!
Still thinking of where to go sia. :/

I go do RVM now.
:/

P.S: I will never let you fall.

 

3 more days to go.

Thank you Bev for your advice.
Thanks for telling me that I should talk to him about this matter.
And not keeping things to myself.

Now that I’ve talked to him, I’ve cleared all the doubts.
I can feel the love again.
I supposed that we’re fine now.

And also thank you Stanley and Zhihow for expressing your concern to me.
Thanks for convincing me that this relationship is not gonna fail.
Thanks for comforting me when you know that I’m upset.
Thanks for telling me that everything’s gonna be okay.
——————————————————-
Anyway, time flies today at work.
And I don’t know why eh.
Maybe because Juliana’s around. HAHA!

Then I called Bev to talk to her.
And I cried again.
Sorry to make you worried Bev.
I’m fine now.
And really, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!

After work, went home.
Haoming, Yewbeng and Swee siong came to look for me at my house downstairs.
They played at the playground.
Super funny.

They CLAIMED that they waited for me till I end work.
Seriously, they made my day.
I was laughing non stop.
Thank you.

This post like so dramatic sia.
Keep on thanking people. LOL.
Like some speech cum award ceremony.

But, I truly want to say thank you to everyone.

P.S: I want to say, I love you so much.

 

4 more days to go.

Whoa! Okay. I stayed home the whole of today again.
Looks like I’ve been staying home on almost every Saturdays.
Feel kinda shiok eh. Can save money at the same time.

Oh, and finally I’m done with MB recommendations.
Now, I’m going on to RP2 IJ.
Hopefully I can finish this by Monday.
I wouldn’t want to do anymore last minute work.
Cannot really take the stress eh.
But recently found out that I can actually work better under stress.
Sound so contradicting.
I don’t know what I’m talking about also.

Anyway, I’ve been spending a lot of money recently on mainly food and cigarettes.
I have to cut down on my expenses on food.
I would rather buy cigarettes than food actually.

Bev thought about gambling and drinking together during CNY period.
So, might be the 4th day of CNY.
Hopefully everyone’s free on that day uh.
Don’t tell me need to study eh.
Can study 1 week before CNY!!!
Plus, we are gonna maybe gamble for one day only.
So, no excuses!

————————————————-

Although we’ve talked on the phone almost everyday now, but we haven’t really got back to normal yet.
I was hoping that all of these could be like a dream to me.
But I know that’s impossible.

Everytime I tell you something, you either won’t have any reactions, or you won’t say anything to make me feel better.
When I tell you, “Aye, A says he wants to date me eh.”
And your reaction was, “Oh, then you go lor.”
What I was hoping you’ll say is something like, “Tell him no way. Unless meeting up as friends.”

I know I might sound ridiculous here.
Maybe he’s trying to say go lor, but actually asking me not to.
But I know he’s never like that.

After that…
Me: “Why you always like no reaction? And why always say things like that?”
Him: “Where got no reaction? You want to go then go lor. Then what you want me to say?”
Me: “Say something else luh. I tell you the question again and you’ll reply me again. A says he wants to date me.”
Him: “Why he want to date you? Go where? He like you uh?”
Me: “Why you sound so fake?”
Him: “Hahahaha.”

Speechless~

I don’t know why I’ll always have to push then he will move.
Maybe like what Bev say, he’s not mature yet.
I cannot demand too much from him.

Tell me this is just a dream.

P.S: 我爱他， 真心的.

 

5 more days to go.

Bev asked what happened to me, all my post recently, none is happy stuff.
Seriously, I would like to find out for myself the reason why too.

Not only Bev.
My sister had also been asking me why I ain’t talking to my boyf lately.
I don’t know how to answer her question, anyhow find an excuse and replied her.

You think I wouldn’t wanna be happy?
I want so badly to be happy.
But I really don’t know how to be happy.

I tried really hard to put everything aside and just be myself.
But I couldn’t.
I realised that, only with friends around, I’m less stressed out.
Whenever I’m alone, I’ll start thinking a lot.
And I don’t want to be like this.

I know some of you are already irritated and annoyed at me for being like that.
Frustrated that I kept asking stupid and childish questions.
Questions which there is no answer to.

I’m feeling so emotional until it has already started to take its toll on my studies and work.
I couldn’t juggle all 3 at the same time.
Seriously if I could, I would throw everything away and only want friends.

There’s so much project and assignments to be done.
I hardly could commit 3 days at work now.
And you, ignoring me, taking me for granted is affecting me and making everything worse.

Please don’t do this to me.

————————————————————–

If one day I’ve ran away, would you run after me?
If one day I’ve gone missing, would you come looking for me?
If one day I’ve left this world, would you regret knowing me?
If one day I’ve walked away from you, would you stop me from walking away?
If one day I’ve stopped calling you, would you get worried?
If one day I’ve became cold towards you, would you find out why?

One day, I’ll eventually grow old, would you love another?
One day, I’ll get mad at you for nothing, would you ignore me?

I just wanna experience being loved, like how others do.
I just want someone to be there for me, care for me and love me.
Why is it that, until now, I don’t know what true love is?
I really really want to know how it feels like to be loved wholeheartedly.

————————————————————–

Skipping school again today.

Rained heavily in the morning.
Wind was blowing so strongly that my room door went slamming shut.
My mom wanted to come into my room, and she couldn’t.
I thought the door was locked, so I tried to unlock it.
But, I couldn’t.

The door was stucked!
I thought I couldn’t get out of the room eh.
My mom even tried to break open the door.
Then finally opened!!!
Scare the shit out of me.
And yes, it really did.

I’m having diarrhoea right now.
I’ve been to the toilet 3 times in 2 hours.
And each time, I spent like about half an hour inside.
My arsehole is burning!!
I need the doctor. :/

I think I’ve put on weight again.
I need to stop eating.
I have to stop thinking about food.

I’m going to meet Bev later.
And do my MB when I’m home.

I hope my stomach could take it when I’m out. :/

P.S: Are you already bored of me?